Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Doing Right by Them
I feel blessed that I have such a good relationship with my kids. Granted it’s always a work in progress and no, we aren't always in agreement and yes, we do butt heads, a lot.
What I do feel very grateful for is that my children are balanced and appreciate their lives.
God allows us freedom of choice. We are given opportunities to make our own decisions, yet because of that, we must also be accepting of the good and bad consequences that are the result.
Muff and I went to Chicago to hit one day of a dog show that I swear every time I will not return to. Parking, crowds, just simply chaos and pains in the ass of the whole event. But it has awesome grooming, great rings, wonderful judges and of course Liz, Ron and Duffy! So along the lines of allowing my kids to make their own decisions, Muff opted to stay for the groups with Red. On the way home, she said…remind me, we are not staying for groups here again! It was a long drive home and we were all exhausted. She learned from her choice and will make wiser ones in the future.
I don’t think I spoil my kids. They do have a lot but they work hard for the privileges such as having dogs to show, horses to ride and organizations to participate in. If they want something prove it to me that you can handle it, that you deserve it and that you respect what is being given to you. I’m not going to go out and buy you something simply because you want it .
The conversation in the kitchen while I made dinner last night focused around wants vs needs, earning vs being given… the silver spoon effect. Muff scares me. She’s grown up. She’s making very reliable and logical decisions. Grown up decisions. What I see is a child that works hard, learns from her mistakes and trusts in her knowledge. What she draws from this is not only the ability to deal better in this world, but she also retains memories she’ll cherish and hopefully pass on.
I grew up in the middle of the farm crisis. We didn’t have a lot, but my parents instilled the same values in me. I was the horsey gal. I didn’t have a fancy pedigreed horse, the silver tack and the gear to go with it. I had a decent mount, that I learned and trained myself. I worked hard to be able to show and that was evident in having a sound minded reliable horse that I was proud to call my own. In turn, I’ve offered the same chance with my kids. Be it dogs or horses. I do know that Alec is very proud of the dogs he’s shown, bred and trained. They aren’t national specialty winners, yet, but he’s got a grounded attitude about it that means he appreciates it so much more. Muff, we thought about going out and getting her a very fancy horse to show. But in looking back, I’m so glad we didn’t. What she’s been able to do with Torey and soon to be Ladybug, is amazing. She’s learned so much more and truly loves the horse he’s become…because she did it. I’m pretty sure he’ll be like Moo and have a special spot up on ridge with the rest of the gang when he dies.
I guess in another one of my long and rambling posts, I’m trying to say, make sure to keep your kids grounded. Don’t lose sight in where you came from simply because you took it upon yourself to not appreciate what you were given, be it a lot or a little. I hope my kids look back and realize that they got so much and it wasn’t monetary related but that they got soul, spirit and love.