Thursday, May 21, 2009

Country living

I once again shake my head at the "new" neighbors and boy are they new. City folks who decided that they wanted to live out in the country and honestly have no idea what they got themselves into. It's a good chuckle to see them drive down the very edge of the gravel road in their SUV-white of course, at 15 miles an hour. Heaven's forbid they get it dirty or scratched. Don't even get me started on the whole dog thing either--I have a gun and have the law on my side if they chase my livestock again.

On that note, might I add that some people do well with the move. Some understand the rules, but some just don't get it. Here's a few of them for a refresher for us all:

Tractors get the right of way. They are big, they move slow, turn wide and they cost a lot more then your lexus. They are meant to get dirty and if you drive too close behind them, you will get a clod of mud on your windshield at some point.

Farmers respect the land, it's how they make a living.

Cows-steak on the hoof. Pigs-walking hams. They smell funny, but that's the smell of money. They make noise and no, they aren't pets, they are income. Don't name them unless you like a name tag placed on your dinner plate.

Good fences make good neighbors. Keep your animals on your property and I'll keep mine on my land.

The ditch is not your personal trash dump. I don't come by and drop unwanted bags of leaves on your sidewalk, don't do it on mine. Same applies to appliances, couches and tires.

Wave. It’s called ‘being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch. Add in NASCAR, local softball leagues and horseshoes. Sports are played on an old worn out field, with advertisements from the local bars on the back fence. There's no half time performer, it's the high school band. BYOB and the kids are free to run amok and play all over the bleachers, the outfield and the sand box next to the batting cage.

Colleges? We have them all over. They are called State Universities and Community Colleges. They come out of there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays. They get hands on experience as well as knowing exactly what they want out of life. They don't take yoga for beginners, art appreciation or pottery 101. The classes are diesel mechanics, agronomy and advanced accouting.

We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best. That's why we have yellow ribbons on our mailboxes, we march proudly in the 4th of July parade and the American Legion's fish fryers, tenderloin dinners and flag raisings are standing room only.

Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap isn’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it. We listen to country music, enjoy Sunday morning with Leo Greeko and everything grinds to a halt at noon when the news is on, so we can check the markets-ag markets that is.

TWO inches of snow & ice isn’t a blizzard - it’s just an excuse to get out the snowplow blade on the tractor. Drive in it like you have some sense, and DON’T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This isn’t Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. Be prepared at all times. That's why we can our veggies from the garden in the summer, have used milk jugs full of water in the pantry and kerosene in the lanterns.

Here's the scoop folks, mind your manners, respect the fences that are in place, keep your livestock-including your dogs-on your own property, and don't assume that just because you are now in the "country" you automatically know how to do everything. Honestly, some people just need to stay in town, it's much safer for all of us.

Later gators.....


Sharrie said...

Well, said, C!

Scott said...


penni said...

For many city-dwellers, moving to the country is somehow like a permanent vacation -- add in a few animals (that they can't care for), and you have the entire picture. Keep that shotgun handy, Cindy!

Sherilyn said...

LOL I'm making sure when we finally get to move to the "country" I have you handy to acclimate us, so we can become "countrified" in the right way! ;) Of course, we already qualify for a zoo, just in the city! LOL