Saturday, December 27, 2008

Letter to the manufacturer-defective product(spew alert)



Dear Mr and Mrs Mumme:


Please find inclosed one slighty slimed black and white, brindle pointed 12 week old female puppy. It's defective and I would like to exchange it for one that doesn't bark, poop, pee, piss off the old dog, instigate mahem with the other young dogs, consider the griffon as it's personal chew toy and last but not least, doesn't destory most everything in it's path. See attached photo for the debris trail it has left during it's most recent reign of terror.
I would appreciate it if the new one to be sent as it's replacement be slightly larger then the current model as it's head fits neatly inside an older corgis mouth. Also a larger one will not have the ability to dive under the couch for cover and attack any moving object, such as feet, toes, socks, slippers, collie leg and the occasional hand that passes within it's range of fire. This one also seems to have teeth sharp enough to pierce an ear and an unusual squeak/mind numbing bark combo when it is in combat with one of the Red Boys. I can't seem to find a volume switch-that too must be defective or missing. Would there be a chance of that being an upgrade on the replacement model? I am willing to pay for that if needed.

Thank you and I anxiously await our new and improved replacement model.
Sincerely,

Cindy McDonald

(and no, that is not a mess created by Hope, she is the innocent victim in this crime spree. It's several wrapping paper tubes that some how got found and made their way into the front room. )



Later gators....

C

5 comments:

Garrett808 said...

OMG that room looks terrible! I agree its time for an upgrade! :) Maybe I don't want my new puppy either......LOL

Winjammin' said...

(SPEW ALERT)

Dear Mrs. McDonald,

Thank you for your recent acquisition of Bejammin's Own Merlot at FB. Since the label on your product clearly states, black and white, with brindle points, and a hint of sugar and spice, we are unable to grant you a refund.

However, we can surely exchange your model for any of the following: A petite little Chianti that eats everything in her path, a spicy white Zinfandel that eats everything in her path AND keeps a running commentary to anyone within a 5 county radius, OR a larger Cristal that is quieter, doesn't eat as much, BUT carries her favorite playmate around with her all the time....BY THE TAIL. And finally, we have the mother of all above products (who has been lovingly referred to in the production facility as Hurricane Ruby, known for her destructive path of unrolling a brand new roll of toilet paper, in less than 2 minutes, on three different levels on the house, and blaming it on another), who with the help of her favorite blue merle assistant and partner in crime, taught the products every trick in the book, and probably then some.

Please let us know of your decision and thank you for your patronage. We will make note of your special requirements and look to improve on future models.

We also recommend that you speak with our Wisconsin facility so that they also are made aware of the problems you are experiencing with this particular model.

Thank you again for your patronage and we hope to do business with you in the near future.

Sincerely,

Rus & Sherilyn Mumme
Winjammin' Corgis

Cindy said...

Haaa haaaa haaaa haaaa heee heee heee

ROTFLOL

Took me 15 mins to clean up all the pieces, then I turn around to find her sleeping soundly, curled up on David's lap. Somehow she managed to redeem herself.

solsticekennels said...

Training hint, when the puppy does something bad, you roll up a newspaper and then beat YOURSELF loudly stating, I WAS NOT WATCHING THE PUPPY, I WAS NOT WATCHING THE PUPPY.

A tired puppy is a good puppy right :-).

Kathy and Kim Gibson said...

Ah you see once the house is essentially "puppy proofed" the greatest capers are the ones that happen when we turn our backs for oh let's say 3-4 mins. My favorite capers are--christmas carnage, and toilet paper found!

There is no doubt in my mind that little Merlot will redeem herself after each caper. She's a corker!