Friday, October 5, 2012

Reflections on growing up

Last weekend while getting my forgotten toiletries replace at Walmart, the kids and I watched in amazement as girls and guys came into the store, dressed up for what only I think was their local homecoming dance.

First observation—why in the hell do you come to Walmart on homecoming night? Get a grip. In my time(goodness that was fun to say), we got picked up in a recently cleaned/detailed car, at home where our parents took photos, the guy gave us a corsage, girl gave him a boutonniere. We then went off, as in our day, to meet up with a group of friends and had a nice dinner out at a nice restaurant. Then we went to the dance. Got our photo taken. Danced. Chatted. Had fun and our group, usually we all meet up after the dance at someone’s house where parents were home and changed into comfy clothes and watched a movie etc. Everyone went home, though usually the girls stayed there for a sleepover.

Besides Walmart, we saw couples getting subs at Subway, gas at the gas station or supplies-sodas,etc. Is this the new trend?

Second observation-clothing optional? Now the guys were dressed very nicely. Nothing new there from what I remember. Ties, slacks, vests or sweaters, etc. Clean up and shiny. BUT….when did it become optional for girls to dress as skanks? Yes you heard that right, skanks. Dresses are too low and too high all at the same time. If you watch CSI, it’s the type of outfit you might see on the hooker they are interviewing that just found the dead body. Glittery, tight, showing a hell of a lot more then they have to offer.

I have a freshman in high school. I am blessed with a sensible, kind, smart and fun kid. The Ms is given every opportunity to participate in all the activities she wants. She does what she wants and gives it her full attention. Recent conversations when she gets picked up at school are that her friends are now getting into all this relationship drama. Who’s dating whom, breaking up, etc. I mean seriously, freshman? Her comment is that she doesn’t need all that drama, she perfectly fine to live off her friends chaos, and not have to deal with it all. She took a full load plus this year to get ahead of the game. I am ordering her FFA jacket next week. She participates in the social events, but isn’t all about the “being” part of it. As in being seen, being heard and being there.

Why do parents encourage some of this behavior? The need to fit in and be the it person. I’m seeing on FB photos of these still young girls in mini dresses, tromping off to the dance because if you aren’t there, you aren’t someone. Or the instagram photos of the new hair doo, mugging with friends and constant texting. I get the feeling that some days we are creating a very shallow group of kids. The kind that don’t take defeat well so we buy them more and “better” so they can win and have that winning attitude.

I’m old fashioned and I’m bringing up my kids that way. So the Ms didn’t get asked to the dance, not that she would have said yes, she more than likely would have said no. She has friends, good friends, both male and female. She’s open and honest with me about what is happening, if it makes her sad(PE) or glad(only 1 more week of full time PE). She says yes ma’am, yes sir, please, thank you, speak when spoken to and watch how and what you say. You come home and have your homework done, then go out and do your chores. Help make dinner, eat with the family, do house chores, work with dogs, go to meetings, do what’s asked, when she is asked(most of the time) She wears appropriate clothing, though I have told her she inherited her father’s tight butt and still is as flat chested as they come. Anyhow, she loves shoes, likes clothes but understands that flaunting more isn’t better.

Go to church, say your prayers, obey your parents and elders. Don’t be demanding and cute isn’t going to get you that far in life, medical science might be able to help you extend those looks but what if that crazied monkey bites your face off, then what do you have to fall back on?

So girls, pull those hems a little lower, button up those shirts one more button. You can have those cute shoes, but I better also see those grades stay up, otherwise, there definitely won’t be a prom in your future. Okay, parents, let your girls be girls, but you of all people shouldn’t be living through your kid’s social lives, what kind of model are you setting?

I need to go home and bake some bread. You’ll find the Ms reading a new book, listening to a very eclectic selection of music on her mp3(no ipod and no cell phone!), riding her horse, playing with her chickens or walking a dog. There’s also some vacuuming, dusting, canning and of course, shopping. I don’t have her tied to the post, but you know it’s nice when she chooses to be with us and include us in her life and asks us to help her make decisions. And not worrying about dying her hair the right color, how long before she’s got to get her manicure redone, or if her friend is mad at her since she hasn’t had a text in like an hour from them.

Later gators….


Taryn said...

Great post! In my suburban neighborhood with tiny postage stamp yards, the kids don't even have to mow the grass. They hire a service, sheesh.So many kids today don't learn the basics of running a house. They better hope to get good jobs so they can hire help 'cause lord knows they can't do it for themselves!

Liz said...

I think you have done a wonderful job with Meredith. She's so solid and seems so sure of herself. And in talking about homecoming dances, several of the mothers at my class this morning were talking about a requirement at a dance last weekend. In addition to having requirements about no cleavage, the girls needed to wear bike shorts under their dresses, and they were checked when they arrived. My goodness.

Cindy said...

I could have added in the whole pierciing thing too--how many holes in your head do you need before the age of 14? There's enough leaky brainage due to hormones, why add more? The Ms hasn't even wished for her ears to be pierced yet, thank goodness, just by her a new book or a red pair of Keds and she's happy.

Heather (jerZgirl) said...

Great post!